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Steakosaurus
Red decides (out of food in the refridgerator) That he wants to eat a dinosaur, so when Blue tries to convince him that dinosaurs are extinct, he fails to understand, and buys a time machine from the Raccoon. But before they reach the time of the dinosaurs they went to three different times for a brief moment. It only takes them an hour to become cavemen, and find out that dinosaurs are very hard to hunt. thus, Red decides to go to the future and find an advanced weapon to kill every dinosaur in the world. The episode ends with earth being hit by a meteor. YouTube description Red and Blue decide to feed themselves the old-fashioned way - hunting, killing and time-traveling. Dick Figures was created by Ed Skudder, who wrote, directed and voiced the episode along with Zack Keller. Transcript Red: I want, to eat, a dinosaur! (He and Blue are out of food in the kitchen.) Blue: Not this again. Red: I'm so hungry! I need to eat the biggest animal ever! Blue: You know dinosaurs are extinct right? They're not like, here, anymore... Red: Hmm, explain. Blue: No! (They are already near an ancient shop.) Red: Waiwaiwaiwaiwaiwaiwai, wait. So you mean they're not even zombies, they're, like, for realsies dead? Blue (annoyed): Yes. Red: Well, looks like we need a time machine! Blue: Those don't exist either! Red: You don't exist, YESSSSS! (floats into the store) Raccoon: Hahahahahahah. So you want to travel to a forgotten time? Red: Yeah. Raccoon: You could forever alter the course of history! Red: Yeah. Raccoon: You know it is very dang- Red: Yeah, yeah, yeah, here's fifty bucks. Raccoon: ...It's in the back. (They are already inside the time machine.) Blue: Hmm, ahh. I don't know if this seems structurally sound. It says 'Made in China'... Red: HIT IT! (Light flashes and they travel back in time and they reached 1930.) 1930's Guy: Well, isn't that a hoot? Blue: I don't think we went back far enough. (They travel back in time again and they reached medieval times.) Knight: Look there! Witchcraft! (They travel back in time again to Egyptian times.) Egyptian: ...The fuck? Blue: Just turn it to dinosaur! Red: Oh, yeah. (They travel back in time again, now to the time of the dinosaurs.) Red and Blue: Whoahhh... (They see huge and small dinosaurs.) Blue: Ohh, they're so big! Red: Oh my God, they're so delicious! Blue: Dude, you're never gonna be able to catch one of those things. Red: I'm from a million years in the future! My brain is way more gooder than theirs! They don't stand a chance! ONE HOUR LATER Red and Blue: *Yelling* (Red and Blue are dressed as cavemen and they start talking in caveman grunts. They saw a dinosaur and they hide behind a bush.) Red: Oh shit-boulders! Dinosaurs! Blue: What you going do? Attack smallest? Red: Attack biggest! (Red throws a rock at a dinosaur. The dinosaur crushes Red with its tail.) Blue: What you going do? Red: Stab with stick! (Red approaches a baby pterodactyl in a nest to stab it with a stick, when a larger pterodactyl picks him up and flies away with him) Blue: What you going do? Red: Club with club! (Red tries to attack a triceratops with a club. The triceratops eats him.) Blue: Clever girl. (A T-Rex roars.) Blue: What you going do? Red: Shit pants. (The T-Rex roars again.) Blue: Where going? Red: (in English) The future! Blue: All right. (Red travels to the future and quickly comes back wearing sunglasses and carrying a futuristic laser weapon.) Red: Hey, ugly! (A T-Rex turns to face him.) Where I come from, you're extinct! (Red shoots the T-Rex with the laser and the T-Rex explodes then Red and Blue are sitting next to a fire eating dinosaur meat.) Blue: I think you just killed every dinosaur in the world. Red: And now I'm gonna eat every dinosaur in the world. Circle of life, bitch! Blue: How is that the circle of li- What is that thing?! (A giant meteor hits Earth. Episode ends) Trivia *This episode must have been between Flame War and Trouble Date because Blue and Pink had their date within that week's time or the episodes aren't aligned. *The episode's name is a spoof of "Stegosaurus". *We learn Red craves dinosaurs. *We learn that Red has demanded Dino-meat before as Blue says "Not this again". *This is the first episode with a time card: ONE HOUR LATER *The Hieroglyphs said AS~L" *We learn that Raccoon owns a shop. *This is the first time Red is not wearing his hat due to nature. The second time happened in Fang Angels due to prison cloth code. *This episode has two references to Jurassic Park: The dinosaur sounds and the line 'clever girl'. *The music that plays at the end before Blue says "I love dinosaurs" is called "Maple Leaf Rag". Reccuring Gags Singing Autotuned/Unautotuned None. Red Floating Red floats after telling Blue that he doesn't exist Yesssssssss! Episode Ending The word DICK FIGURES is shown with the "I"s replaced with bones while the theme song plays, during the episode selection while fun music plays and Blue says "I love Dinosaurs" at the end. The Last Line Being Cut None. Video thumb|left|500px Category:Episodes Category:Season 1